Silence Is Golden
I was off sick today because I lost my voice and I’ve got a blocked nose. I have been poorly, in fact, the entire week, but there is just so much work I need to finish before my holiday next week. Not to mention shopping for the loves of my life!
The beauty of having a down time is that it allows me to have some alone time with my thoughts and ponder things I usually wouldn’t have time for.
It was funny how many phone calls I had to reject today because I can only listen but not respond. Then a friend rang and said she desperately needed to talk, so I text her saying that I shall listen and respond only when totally necessary. Before putting the phone down, she said ‘I love you’ to me, which is really wonderful and sweet. She’s one of my very few British friends who actually says those very meaningful words. I tried croaking ‘I love you, too’ to her but wasn’t sure if she understood me, and so I text her immediately.
It got me to thinking how beneficial would it be if everyone had a day of silence - to just listen and never have to talk back, to appreciate the voice of the other person and truly feel the sentiments of their words. Often times misunderstandings arise simply because they get their wires crossed due to their inability to stop and listen. Many people seem to be under the impression that whoever speaks the loudest gets their point across better. I don’t think so.
One of the things I admire most about Thom, my gorgeous significant other, is his serenity. Every single friend I have who has met him marvels about this. He’s constantly digesting things around him, words uttered, actions taken, gestures made. And although it may not be obvious, since I can be very expressive, I have that certain quality, too.
When Thom and I have our little fights, you would never know. We go our separate corners and immerse ourselves in silence. This is our cue to think things over and come back with a realisation of what just happened, things we want to clarify and options on how we move forward. There are never hurtful words exchanged. We have never raised our voices at each other.
When disagreements arise, take some time out. And when you are ready, allow only words of comfort, kindness and love to flow from your lips. However, there may be times when you have to come from your truth, which may not be easy to accept by the other person. But as along as your intention is to be honest with someone, and not maliciously plot to hurt them, then by all means open your heart to them.
Silence is a very valuable commodity in any relationship - be it familial, friendship, business or work. It’s always prudent to think first before you say anything. And if you have nothing good to say, shut up.
When was the last time you enjoyed the wonders of silence and serenity?
8 Love Notes for “Silence Is Golden”
December 7, 2007
i have the problem, you know, the being silent part. often times when my mom and i argue, i’m the one who always raises her voice. bad no? and i keep thinking, every time an argument is about ti start, what if i just shut up? maybe i won’t do as much damage as i always do. it’s a good thing to have that kind of quality as you do, and i’m still trying to learn to have it.
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December 10, 2007
i think i’m more of a listener than speaker. maybe it’s one of the reasons why my friends usually talk to me when they have problems or something’s bothering them.
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December 10, 2007
lost my voice just last night, too
not so good esp since i’ve got two daughters, heheh. but i think finding oneself in silence is good, too.
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December 10, 2007
Ris, I know what you mean. I’ve learned through the years that the mother-daughter dynamic is just so difficult to fathom. It’s the love-hate relationship. But these days, when I feel an argument is about to surface, I walk away. I tell my mother that I’ll talk to her later.
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December 10, 2007
That’s good, salve. Listening is a real gift. Your friends are lucky to have you.
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December 10, 2007
Hi kengkay! It’s horrible isn’t it? I’m pre-recording my radio show today so I’m hoping my voice doesn’t give.
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December 12, 2007
Hi Joy! I hope you’re ok now. Have a nice holiday in manila.
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December 15, 2007
hi joy,” happy -happy holidays” ! have a safe flight:)
take care and all the best.
Meds W
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