Your Love Coach

The Art of Writing Love Letters

Technology has its benefits, but at the same time it also aids in eroding certain elements of romance and relationships that are steeped into our culture as beings of love. Like writing love letters.

As a love coach, I can truly tell you that email and text messages cannot replace the art form that communicates one’s deepest emotions that is the love letter.

Today let me share a few tips on writing love letters. It is imperative to note that writing a love letter should be done with so much care and attention, because a love letter will be read and re-read and will be the longest preserved by the lucky recipient.

Tips on writing a love letter

1. Ensure that you have beautiful handwriting. If your penmanship leaves a lot to be desired, then hire someone who does calligraphy or ask someone you trust who has beautiful penmanship to write the letter for you.

2. Include a nice photo of yourself with the letter - either glued at the top of the page (for the recipient of the letter to reflect on as they read your letter) or simply enclosed in the letter.

3. Make sure you spell every word correctly. Use the dictionary or the spellchecker on your computer.

4. The opening of your letter, or salutation, sets the tone of the letter. If you have been seeing/dating the person for a few weeks you can start with “My darling Kyle” or if you feel tentative about the appropriateness of your opening you can use “To Kyle, with warmest affection”.

Or if you want to play it down some more, you can start with “Dearest Kyle”. If you have been together for sometime, then of course, feel free to say “My only one” or “To the love of my life”. Toning it down when you are already intimate with someone will most likely hurt their feelings or confuse them regarding the status of your relationship.

5. And equally important is how you close your love letter. Here you can be freer to use words that express how you feel about the other person like “Yours forever”, “Yours unconditionally”, or “Your loving wife” or “I long to be with you, love”.

6. The heart of the matter though is the content or body of the letter. What does one say to a beloved?

• Are you writing to ask for a date?
• Do you want to express gratitude for something wonderful they did or said?
• Are you simply wanting to express your feelings?
• Do you want to know how they feel about you?
• Or all of the above?

It is also worth bearing in mind that you only write what you mean. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, or say something that’s not true. Write from the heart.

However if you are writing an erotic love letter, be a bit more graphic than usual (as long as you know that this will be well received by the person you are writing to and you two have an established relationship). Feel free to write about how hot, wet, positions and lingerie.

The thesaurus is your friend. Sometimes you can get overwhelmed by your feelings and thoughts that words can be quite difficult to find. That’s where the thesaurus can come in. (You can look up what words you can use to open and close your letter, too.)

At the same time, you may need words like cherish, idolize, embrace, hold dear, adore, caress, desire, fondle, fascinate, passion, smitten, enchanted, captivated, treasure, stroking, touch, infatuated, precious in the body of your letter.

Also, you may want to use a love quote from someone more eloquent and articulate than you. Or lift a couple of lines from Pablo Neruda or Elizabeth Barrett-Browning or Shakespeare.

Examples:

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways.”

“Where heaven meets earth, I find you.”

“Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.”

7. Just a few more things to think about:

• Use a fountain pen, not a ballpoint pen. It just looks better. Or use a sign pen. You may even want to use a scented ink.
• Plain paper is fine, but since you are giving this special letter to someone even more special, why not use linen, or rice paper. Just steer clear of lined or ruled paper, and those with lots of designs. They can be distracting.
• Never send a type written letter. It has to always be handwritten either by yourself or someone else.
• Keep it short and simple - like a page. They pack quite a punch. If you have so much to say and a page isn’t enough, then if you feel confident about writing it then go ahead. Just don’t write a book! What you do is write several installments. This makes the recipient curious and excited about the next one.
• Re-read your letter before sending it off, to make sure it says what you want it to. A rough draft is a good idea - this way you don’t waste good paper if you make mistakes.
• Seal a letter with hot wax if you can buy one. It makes it just a bit more special.

Below is a sample of a love letter which you may find useful.

My lovely one,

Ever since that warm September night when Fate conspired to lure us into our first marathon conversation, I have been measuring time with a melting clock from a Dali painting. My past, present, and future life have coalesced into a single paradoxical existence. I feel as though I have known you for an eternity; yet, I perceive everything I experience with you in the vibrant colors of a freshly painted dream about the future.

In one timeless month, your happiness has become essential to mine. I have turned into an avid collector of your smiles and expressions of joy, striving to expand my collection every day. The gems I have gathered illuminate my nights so brightly that nightmares no longer haunt my sleeping hours. Nothing has ever made my spirit glow as radiantly as sharing my heart and mind with you.

Love always,
Kyle

For a few days I shall share with you samples of love letters from the masters themselves. Throughout the centuries, poets and writers have demonstrated the kind of sentiments that truly capture the hearts and imaginations of the recipients of those letters.

Have you written a love letter yourself? Please share with us part of it or the whole letter. Send them my way!

Happy love letter writing! And come back for more tips in the following days.

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