Welcome To Finding Love
Your Love Coach is a home for people looking for love or wanting to keep the passion and excitement in a healthy relationship alive. Explore the site and enjoy your visit. Participate in the forum. If you have a burning question about love or romance, just send me a note. From one hopeful romantic to another, I leave you with Pablo Neruda’s words, from Sonnet XVII:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or where from,
I love you simply, without complexities or pride;
I love you in this way, not knowing any other way of loving
but this, in which neither I nor you exist
so close that your hand on my breast is mine,
so close that your eyes close when I sleep.”
The Art of Writing Love Letters
Technology has its benefits, but at the same time it also aids in eroding certain elements of romance and relationships that are steeped into our culture as beings of love. Like writing love letters.
As a love coach, I can truly tell you that email and text messages cannot replace the art form that communicates one’s deepest emotions that is the love letter.
Today let me share a few tips on writing love letters. It is imperative to note that writing a love letter should be done with so much care and attention, because a love letter will be read and re-read and will be the longest preserved by the lucky recipient.
Tips on writing a love letter
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360+ Ways To Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Didn’t they say give love on Christmas Day? Well, I say there are at least 360 ways to say Merry Christmas to every person you know! From Acholi to Zulu, and the Afrikaans, Dutch, German, Hungarian, Norwegian, Polish, Russian, Vietnamese and many more. By remembering them on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, it’s one way you can show you care.
*If there is any error or you would like your language added to the list, just let me know.
360+ Ways To Say Merry Christmas And Happy New Year
Acholi - Mot ki Yomcwing Botwo Me Mwaka Manyen
Adhola - Wafayo Chamo Mbaga & Bothi Oro Manyeni
Aeka- Keremisi jai be
Afrikaans - Geseende Kerfees en ‘n gelukkige nuwe jaar
Continue reading “360+ Ways To Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year”
Single Moms and Dating
I have received a question from a single mom who needs advice on dating while looking after her son and taking her role as a mother seriously. My reply to her follows.
Question:
I’m dating a great single guy. But being a single mom I also have to think about my five-year old son and what’s best for him. How do I know that this guy is the one?
Continue reading “Single Moms and Dating”
Ways to Meet Men and Women
Are you looking for your soul mate or significant other? Have you run out of ideas on how you can meet an interesting man or woman? Tired of the dating scene?
If you answer yes to any of those questions, then look no further. In this day and age, meeting decent, honest and interesting people have become too much of a challenge.
People are busier than ever.
12 Ways to Meet Men and Women
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Silence Is Golden
I was off sick today because I lost my voice and I’ve got a blocked nose. I have been poorly, in fact, the entire week, but there is just so much work I need to finish before my holiday next week. Not to mention shopping for the loves of my life!
The beauty of having a down time is that it allows me to have some alone time with my thoughts and ponder things I usually wouldn’t have time for.
It was funny how many phone calls I had to reject today because I can only listen but not respond. Then a friend rang and said she desperately needed to talk, so I text her saying that I shall listen and respond only when totally necessary. Before putting the phone down, she said ‘I love you’ to me, which is really wonderful and sweet. She’s one of my very few British friends who actually says those very meaningful words. I tried croaking ‘I love you, too’ to her but wasn’t sure if she understood me, and so I text her immediately.
Continue reading “Silence Is Golden”
The Godmother
As they say, give love on Christmas Day! I intend to and in so doing I hope to receive as much love, too.
Bluep tagged me to reveal the names of my godchildren. I was 17 years old when I first became a godmother. So here are their names:
- Sarah
- Gabriel
- Shane
- Alex
- Mave
- AJ
- Heiress
This meme was created to remind us “Ninongs” and “Ninangs” the number of our godchildren and our responsibility towards them as they grow and mature as better Christians. Here are the rules:
- List all the names of your godchildren
- Tag at least 5 bloggers
- Update the Tag Train
The Tag Train Started Here - Bluepanjeet - Joy - “You” (Put Your Link Here) -
I am now tagging Kiko, Lenggai, Scarty, Diwata and Brath.
Love On The Rebound
What is the first thing you want to do upon breaking up with someone - especially if you’re the one who got dumped?
More often than not, people suffering from rejection need some kind of validation. They need to know and be reassured that:
- they are attractive
- they are lovable
- they can make a relationship work
- they don’t have to be alone
- a break up is a temporary set back in their love life
- it wasn’t their fault the relationship broke down
Continue reading “Love On The Rebound”
Getting Your Ex Back
Do you remember what it was like to lose ‘the love of your life’? Did you want to get them back at all costs? What do you think is the best thing to do to get them back?
These are the questions that have been sent to me by the readers of Your Love Coach and I felt it’s time I gave them my two cents’ worth.
The question of getting your ex back can be both complex and straightforward. Let me first address the latter.
I find that this can be easy when thinking of it this way:
The relationship ended, whether you were the dumper or dumpee, for one reason or another. This means the relationship didn’t work, and so it will be more productive to learn from the mistakes you made and move on.
There are many ‘relationship experts’ who will tell you that it is always possible and a good thing to contemplate getting your ex back, but I don’t agree with that and find it unethical that they should convince people who are feeling vulnerable and desperate to pursue this course of action.
But then obviously, it gets complex when moving on is not an option - yet. When you have doubts whether you made a mistake breaking off a relationship, or realising after having some time to think that this was the best relationship you’ve had, or there are residual feelings left for your ex, then you will do everything you can to get them back.
Let’s say you have all the positive intentions of wanting to get back with your ex. What questions should you raise and respond to very sincerely?
6 questions to ask if you want to get back with your ex
Continue reading “Getting Your Ex Back”
Love Poems
I thought it may be helpful to translate the poems in my last post into English. Here they are! Do let me know which one you like best. When was the last time you wrote a love poem for the object of your affection?
I Will Never Forget You (Nunca Te Olvidare)
I cannot speak the language
of your people,
because I only know the language
of my heart.
Do you realise what is in my heart?
I have a secret
and it is very precious to me.
You are the love of my life,
my last love.
We are one soul
as well as two bodies.
Often I forget myself.
But never will I forget you.
I want to have your lips
once more, my darling.
I am hungry and I am thirsty,
but only for your caress,
only for your love,
only for you.
Today it is raining,
but I am not sad.
The sun is always with me,
because you are with me
in my heart.
naked (desnudo)
here i am naked
before you.
my heart in my hand,
my soul is yours, too.
i have a secret.
for the first time
i am drunk with love.
i want to have you in my life
because there is no one
i love more.
always in my heart
your name i write.
i am woman
before you.
this has not changed.
still my heart
is in my hand.
today i love you.
tomorrow i love you more.
Without You Now (Sin Ti Ahora )
My memories of you are of joys and tears.
But I do not regret them, my darling.
I loved you with my heart, my soul, my body.
You have been part of me, haven’t you known?
I am without you now.
I am here, you are there - two roads, yours and mine,
Converged before but never more.
Your world is too distance, far away from me.
That says everything.
Always I will love you, that I will not doubt.
I cannot love another for I am yours,
Now, until we meet again in the next life.
Language of Love
For as long as I can remember, among all the literary genres, I have always favoured poetry. There is something undeniably romantic in being able to express the deepest emotions in so very few words, paint the most glorious pictures by using very few colours and tell a story with carefully chosen predicates.
I still believe that poetry is one of the oldest languages of love, next to serenades and dancing. We don’t all have to be poets - we just need to utter or scribe words that convey magic, fairy tales and forevers.
I took up Spanish back in 2000 for a myriad of reasons. And as soon as I could, I tried my hand at writing poems in Spanish. Here I would like to share them with you.
Nunca Te Olvidare (I Will Never Forget You)
No puedo hablar la lengua
de tu gente,
porque yo se solo la lengua
de mi corazon.
Sabes que esta en mi corazon?
Tengo un secreto
y esta es preciosa para mi.
Tu eres la amor de mi vida,
mi amor por la ultima vez.
Nosotros somos una alma
asi como dos cuerpos.
Entonces, yo me olvido.
Pero nunca te olvidare.
Tengo que gustar tus labios
otra vez, querido mio.
Tengo hambre y tengo sed,
pero para solo tu carino,
solo tu amor,
solo tu.
Hoy esta lloviendo,
pero no estoy triste.
El sol es conmigo siempre,
porque tu eres conmigo
en mi corazon.
desnudo (naked)
aqui estoy desnudo
delante de ti.
mi corazon esta mi mano,
mi alma tambien tuyo.
tengo un secreto.
por primera vez
estoy borracho con amor.
quiero tenerte en mi vida
porque no hay nadie
yo amo mas.
siempre en mi corazon
tu nombre yo escribo.
soy mujer
enfrente de ti.
no hay cambia
todavia corazon
en mi mano.
hoy te amo.
manana te amo mas.
Sin Ti Ahora (Without You Now)
Mis recuerdos de ti son de alegrias y lagrimas.
Pero no me arrepiento, mi querido.
Yo te ame con mi corazon, mi alma, mi cuerpo.
Has sido mi vida, no has sabido?
Ahora, yo me encuentro sin ti.
Estoy aqui, estas alli - dos calles, tuya y mia,
convergieron antes pero nunca mas.
Tu mundo esta muy lejano, distante de mi.
Que lo dice todo.
Siempre te amare, esta yo se sin duda.
No puedo amar otro hombre porque soy tuyo,
Ahora hasta nos encontramos en el proxima vida.
Which one do you like best? When was the last time you’ve read a poem to your significant other? Or better still, have you ever written a poem for them?
I am Dr Joy Barredo, your love coach. I enjoy helping people find love, move on from a heartbreak or keep the romance alive in their relationship. I am a hopeful romantic and a realist at the same time.